I made such a fool out of myself in front of Ace and a few other respected members.

Today I was challenged by Rolliply on the wall. Things were going great and we dueled. Then people started to arrive. I was okay with DeathWarrior and Aceslayer arriving, I wanted Ace to arrive.

I dueled a few people including JoshiiMoshii and Death, although when it got to Death, too many people had entered the server. It was around 8-9, and my computer couldn't handle the lag very well. When I finally got to Ace, he said that he was tired and without a mouse. I was tired as well, and freezing every few seconds. He ended up beating me, and I'm pretty sure he believes that I'm just terrible.

Now that isn't why I made a fool out of myself. I made a fool out of myself by whining.

I have Aspergers, along with some other form of Autism. I have a terrible habit of complaining, blaming, and whining despite my age when I suspect that people have a low opinion of me. It's something that I've been trying to fix for years, yet I haven't made any progress. Sometimes I exaggerate what I blame, and it really bothers me. It really showed in front of a few COLs, and I'm very sure I have lost the respect of Aceslayer, although Roll, Death and Josh were very good sports. Thank you all for dueling me and being great sports after you've seen what I can be.

If you are thinking about me being a future COL, HRs, I don't deserve it. Cancel out my vote. I have more than a few other horrible habits, such as occasional paranoia and being self-critical. I'm a weird combination of mature, childish and something indescribable. Plus, there are so many other, more fitting, Officer candidates. I'm sort of odd when put in a position of power. I'm responsible with it, but sometimes I get indecisive and over-the-top. Also, not to mention, I'm somewhat arrogant every now and then. I'm not as arrogant as arrogant people go, but it shows every now and then. I think I'll just stick to Officer for a while. I'll be honest, COL looks like a golden position to me, but no. I don't deserve it with my traits. I'll stick to Officer where I belong.

EDIT: On second thought, I will shoot for COL. Like I said, I'm self-critical, I was really putting myself down. It will take months, but I know I can do it. I just hosted a great training that lasted for around 4 hours, and everyone had a great time! It was a good morale boost. Perhaps I was too harsh on myself 2 days ago. True, what I said does show up when in a bad mood, but it's very uncommon. I'm hardly ever in a bad mood.

Not to mention I get sidetracked. Why did I write the above paragraph? I don't know, I'm keeping it though. Thank you for reading my sob-story. Writing these is something else I do when I feel that people have a low opinion of me. This won't be the last.

You have now seen the other side of me. Goodnight.

You know, I have the feeling that whatever I just said above nobody cares about, or now they think of me as an outcast. That's alright with me. I felt that it must be said. Not many people on the internet expose their flaws, but I like being honest. Makes me feel like a bigger person.

I totally understand, and hold deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppp (lol) respect for you man.

I hold a deep respect for you, and what you've written above hasn't changed it. You have those flaws, and I have mine, I look down on my abilities and I'm not really a confident fighter, which usually results in me dying or winning with a low health etc. But we all have to respect each other's flaws. You're a great officer, everyone should know that. And by any chance, wanna duel me? I kinda improved so...

boxhead1110 wrote:I hold a deep respect for you, and what you've written above hasn't changed it. You have those flaws, and I have mine, I look down on my abilities and I'm not really a confident fighter, which usually results in me dying or winning with a low health etc. But we all have to respect each other's flaws. You're a great officer, everyone should know that. And by any chance, wanna duel me? I kinda improved so...

Anytime man, and thanks. It means a lot.

Made an important edit, so I feel this deserves a bump.

Lawl. I beat you.

Rolliply wrote:Lawl. I beat you.

.....great sportsmanship........

Powerblade wrote:You know, I have the feeling that whatever I just said above nobody cares about, or now they think of me as an outcast. That's alright with me. I felt that it must be said. Not many people on the internet expose their flaws, but I like being honest. Makes me feel like a bigger person.

Lies. People care. Of course most of the rude Americans dont.

Everyone makes a mistake, which is only human. But you ALWAYS have a choice to correct it. You did correct it, and that is a good aspect that everyone needs especially HR’s. Because even we makes mistakes . I am proud of you and wish you best of luck on your journey to COL!

Deathwarrior1999RBLX wrote:Everyone makes a mistake, which is only human. But you ALWAYS have a choice to correct it. You did correct it, and that is a good aspect that everyone needs especially HR’s. Because even we makes mistakes . I am proud of you and wish you best of luck on your journey to COL!

Means a lot Death, thank you.

Thank Everyone.

OYUS Amateur!

Duckdude112 wrote:

Powerblade wrote:You know, I have the feeling that whatever I just said above nobody cares about, or now they think of me as an outcast. That's alright with me. I felt that it must be said. Not many people on the internet expose their flaws, but I like being honest. Makes me feel like a bigger person.

Lies. People care. Of course most of the rude Americans dont.

We're not rude. Americans care. >->

My brother's autistic. He can relate to being an outcast sometimes, except he is the angry type that will kick someone's ass in a heartbeat.